Freaky Freaky Thang!

So, Crossing Jordan is a television show about a really really hot woman who works in a morgue? Well, ok, I guess. That's edgy enough to be a hit! says the network executive. And I went to see someone "make the drop." So to speak. Sloth had to pick up his Xbox games in exchange for $100 from a bunch of assholes who locked him a storage room.

I really do like my job. And my jorb. And my orb, actually. Well, to be honest, I don't have an orb. Joe does, and we haven't danced in front of it for a while. Too bad.

Speaking of bad, this one guy once told me that he played a great mix of pop, with some country, and a little bit of R&B and maybe some New Age, and some World. I think he was Sting. Anyways, I told I played acoustic swamp rock with hip-hop beats and a twist of Stax-Volt with Ghandi-on-Viagra lyrics. He malfunctioned. It was a fatal error. I laughed at him.

Like the guy who asked me if "In The Mood" by the Glenn Miller Orchestra was John Coltrane. John Coltrane?! Are you fucking kidding me? NO!!! It's Glenn Miller. "Who's that?" Oh, fuck you. "Do you have Kylie's CD?" Who? "Kylie! You know, Minogue!" Oh, silly me, I should have known. No, that's not out yet. "Well, it's released in Britain. I'll pick it up there next weekend. Cheers! ('Cos I'm SO British!)" Oh, fuck you more. Pick up some fucking Coltrane while you're there, and some Miller, and realize how fucking stupid you made yourself look.

Like this kid in my Classic Mythology class. He has a laptop and he played Contra on it through the whole period. Well, not the whole time, actually, he also played some hearts and solitaire and some roleplaying game. But he was also participating in class. "Sometimes having someone in a berserker rage on your side is good, 'cos they don't notice when they've been wounded." Ok man, I realize that those are the rules to your roleplaying game, you aren't fooling the nerd in me. But the teacher was making the point of having a berserker on your side is BAD and that was five minutes ago!!! Turn off your game and shut up.

Grr! (Growlsome)

Scott and I sat at home and ate bean dip, breaking chips in it that were promised not to break. We plotted out the first three episodes to Star Wars the way they should have been. You see, "Uncle" Owen Lars should actually have been the pilot of the spice freighter that Anakin was the navigator on. Seeing his best friend turn to the dark side deeply disturbed Owen to the point where he gave up the busy life of a spicer and settled down as a moisture farmer on a simple, quiet planet. Years later, Ben Kenobi sought out Owen, knowing that he would accept the responsibility and raise young Luke well. That makes a hell of a better backstory, I think, and ties in all the things that Owen and Ben say about Luke's Father.