Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer!

I put a screen on my bedroom window, so now those damn bugs can't get in anymore. You know, I still think we should get rid of bugs. Keep the honeybees, and the ladybugs and the praying manti. And maybe potato bugs, cos they're so cool when they roll up into a ball. Oh crap, praying manti and dragonflies (which we should also keep) eat mosquitos, right? So, we'd have to have mosquitos for them to live. Dammit. Are their any non-biting bugs that they also eat? 'Cos we could keep them too. Yeah, let's just get rid of the biting/stinging bugs. And spiders.

Light the Fire Within... We dare you!

When I was still growing up and dad head off to work, he'd put coat and tie on over fitted shirt. Oh wait, no, that didn't happend to me, that happened to Britt Daniel. Sorry. I think I'm going to go sit in my bamboo chair now and read the paper.

To me you're like a groin, a dictionary can't be right.

Ok, I was wrong; it turns out Old Ben was talking about our own "Pointy View." Not akapov. So, sorry for my misinterpretation. And while we're on apologies, I have to say I'm very sorry about this rain today. I wasn't thinking and I washed my truck yesterday. So now the weather's all like "Look what you made me do!" I was watching the weather report yesterday night and this is what they said: "Well, we have a high pressure zone coming in from the coast, and... oh shit, this just in... Bogus washed his truck yesterday. Well, fuck it, it was going to be a beautiful sunny warm day, but now there's a 100% chance of rain." (Is 100% still a chance?) And while drving home today, some lady decided to make a VERY fast stop at a yellow light at the bottom of a hill. Hmmm... steep hill + slick, wet roads + very fast stop = getting rear ended by me. It's ok though, since I drive a truck and she drives an SUV. Now had there been a car involved, there would be death and blood and war in Iraq or something. But since we both drive big old honkin' vehicles (and I was able to somewhat slow down), I just gave her rear bumper a tap.

Fuck, that Emmanuel was a local celebrity, wasn't he? If there are any s.y. readers who aren't in Utah, let me fill you in: you know that crazy guy who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart? He was in Police custody in September (while he still had Elizabeth). Maybe this should set a new precedent: any time the police question ANYBODY, they should ask them about any unsolved cases. You get pulled over for speeding... "Licence and registration. Also, who killed Joan Benet Ramsay, where is Amelia Earhardt, and who was Jack The Ripper?!" You never know. Maybe something will turn up.

Man, where the fuck IS Amelia Earhardt?

The Many Ways of Skinny Cat!

Luke, you are going to learn that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. (That Lucasian for: I lie but I believe myself.) Personally, I have no idea what "pride" is supposed to mean, but then again I am not privy to the matter, so I suppose that my point of view must have me clinging to some strange kind of other truth. So maybe the wrong person is suspected of lacking perspective (aka point of view, aka pov). (Akapov... sounds Russian.) My self-imposed reclusion, my sojourn from the somewhat western half of the coterie, has probably changed those truth-clingings as a result of my akapov shifting. Sometimes I fear a great schism. But I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. (And the sleeper must awaken, whatever that's supposed to mean.) And could such a rift be void of bitterness? The bitterness in me refuses to believe it, but I must let go my conscious self and act on instinct. Although sometimes I see a bad moon rising, George tells me that "Daylight is good at arriving at the right time" while reminding me that All Things Must Pass.

This blog is dedicated to Caroline Mountford.

Ok, tell me this isn't some kind of metaphor: I live on a one way street that ends in a cemetary. I realized this yesterday as I went for a walk through the graveyard. There was this one spot, way up on a steep hill that overlooked the entire valley, where there was only one headstone; a worn out wooden one with a tree almost growing over it. All it said was Caroline Mountford 1850-1899. Now, I know nothing about her, but by the looks of the headstone, it seems as though she was unlucky in life. But somehow she was lucky enough to get the most beautiful plot with hardly anyone else around for what seems like acres. Acres of land with no bodies in it, only the roots of trees which allegedly extend for hundreds of yards. When I was digging through the dirt at the Q-Spot, I sometimes wondered if one of the roots I was breaking through was from one of the giant pine trees in the cemetary across the road.

On the equalizers on my mixer there are two symbols. If you turn the knob all the way to the right, you go to +15, which means you add signal noise. All the way to the left is - (the sideways eight that means "infinity"). Minus Infinity. Of course that means silence, but I like that concept. That silence is absolute and infinite and noise isn't. I'll bet you that means something.

I was so pumped, I head-butted my dog so hard we both screamed.

And now, some world news. Iraq has begun destroying it's weapons!!! And Turkey voted against letting America attack from it's soil. (According the the Tribune, 90% of Turks oppose the war.) Perhaps, maybe, we might just avoid this horrible war yet. I mean, who could support a country that is being an aggressor against a nation that is DISARMING ITSELF?! Scary times we're living in. And now they're saying that the mormo practice of preparing for the armageddon is a good model to Americans who want to survive the apocalypse and live in a radioactive world with mutants warring with each other for the last scraps of diseased food and blah blah blah. Personally, when that time comes, I'd rather be in heaven with Tony than on this wasteland with all the mormons. But anyways... OH MY GOD. Wow, ok so Terri has her radio on and I just heard "Hurt" covered by Johnny Cash. Holy fuck. At first I thought it was a joke. I actually had to search the internet just now to see if it was for real. But it is. Oh my god, is there anything that man can't do? What a freaking badass. I heard once that Johnny Cash totally uppercut this kid just for opening a window. One time Johnny Cash was at a dinner and some guy dropped a fork, and Johnny Cash killed the enitre town. Now that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!