Yo. So, yesterday night I went to go show Staci Ebo's Grave, and - no shit - we ran into those same kids from West that we saw there last year. I don't fucking believe it. What are the odds?! They were bringing in a bunch of their friends from West to see it, and then they were going to jump out at them and scare them away, much like the goths did that one fateful Friday the 13th. So I told them they should jump out and pretend to start beating the shit out of me. Holy fuck, that would have been so fucking scary. Could you imagine? 'Cos if you're up there and its scary enough all ready, and then these people in masks jump out and start wailing on some dude you've never met who was just there to scare himself? I don't know man, but I would have been terrified. Anyways, they didn't follow the plan, and jumped out way too early. I should have expected - they're not too bright. Nothing personal, I think they're cool and all... but recall last time we were there and one of the goths was wearing a shirt for the band Deicide. And one of the West kids started screaming: "DECIDE WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DECIDE?!" Heh heh heh. Please, legislators, give that funding back to our schools. Speaking of schools... actually, I won't speak of schools. Fuck that. Ugh, I have to go to Costco today. Conformity at its finest. Seriously, Costco is what the whole hip world would be doing on a saturday night if Hitler had won the war. This is the sixth reich. What we have here is a failure to communicate. ("Communication is not just words, it is... architecture.") Lump nearly every known commodity into a warehouse, cut prices drastically by selling it only in bulk, and prepare to screw over any remaining scraps of the independent business. And the great thing is that you don't have to interact with any other human being except to breath the same air and eventually hand one your credit card. I seen it! People milling about, doing their best not to act as though there's anyone else on the planet that matters. Why do I have to go to Costco? Because, according to Sloth, you can buy 40 Corona Lights for around $20. YEAH!!! Which reminds me, there is a Miller commercial out now that makes fun of Coronas, in a roundabout kindof way. Have you seen this? "Citrus fruit is a cure for scurvy, which must be the only reason a MAN would put a lime in his beer." Holy flipping crud. Oh my heck. MAN? What is a MAN? From the very fine beer commercial examples we have, a MAN is in his mid thirties, wears flannel, is mildly unattractive, somewhat portly, balding, and by all accounts, an otherwise complete waste of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. He drinks beer, watches sports, and inexplicably has a gorgeous and horny girlfriend, who vies for his attention, which is always devoted to beer and sports. What is this shit?

Oh, and don't forget our lawn and garden sale, because April is outdoors month. All items 15% off! You see, it's the Playoffs, baby, and I've been catching NBA action from around the league. And that means a lot of television watching. And that means a lot of commercials. As soon as my toe heals and I will be more willing to actually leave my house instead of sit here and party, then I will have more interesting things on my mind. Hmmm... "toe heals" that's like "heel-toe" which is kinda slang for run, I think. As soon as my toe heals I will heel-toe it to the nearest liquor store. So I can buy red wine, which is the topic I've been trying to get to for the past couple sentences. Yes, my wine-drinking experience took a new turn today tried RED wine. RED, you see? Do you understand the metaphysical complicity here? There is no such thing as coincidence. "...like the crystal lattice of a diamond..."

Many grains have slipped through the neck of the hourglass. My favorite color is red now. I decided that the other day when I started thinking about labels and packaging, and how stuff looks cooler when it's red. Then that got me thinking that everything looks cooler when it's red. Besides, red was Tony's favorite color too. That's why both his drumsets and his Durango were red. And while I was thinking about this, for some reason, I was reminded of his alternate lyrics to Riders On The Storm: "Riders on the gun (guitar riff: da d'da da da) Riders on the gun (da d'da da da) fire hollowtips, (keyboard riff: la la la la la la) use extended clips..." Anyways, I was thinking about this as I was driving to the liquor store to stock up for a party with Felix and Haley and Anne, and then when I got there, I was looking at the vodkas, and I noticed this new kind with a big red 3 on it. And just then "Riders On The Storm" began playing on the radio in the store. Trippy, huh? So, now red is my favorite color.