Liam won't go to sleep on his own anymore, so my night time schedule has completely changed, therefore disrupting my blogging schedule.  So I've fallen completely behind.  What have I missed?  Nine days in October, let's see...

Monday we decorated for Halloween!  Tuesday was routine.  Wednesday I had to take my cars to two different shops to get them repaired, then Emily and I got some tombstones and other outdoor decorations.  Thursday I watched the Utes lose to USC.  Friday I took work off to watch Liam play soccer (so cute!), and returned my car for further repairs (which they still didn't get totally right).  Emily and I bought a new dining room chandelier and a bedding set.  Saturday we went to Cornbelly's with my whole family, then pretty much relaxed that whole afternoon.  Sunday we decorated outdoors, then Emily and Maddy went to Sarah's, and Liam and I went to Mike's and watched the Bears game with him and my dad and Emily and Lainey.  Then Liam and I joined Emily and Maddy at Sarah's, and Cyndi came over and we had dinner and watched "On Time."  And yesterday was routine again.  Whew!

Each of my family members needs me to be awake in close proximity to them in order to fall asleep.  Sunday night, Liam slept in a little bed on the floor next to me, and in the night Maddy joined me too.  Last night I had to sit in the hallway while Maddy fell asleep, then sit in the chair while Liam did.  Fortunately, Emily can sleep just knowing I'm awake.  But I'm getting worn out!

My parents took the kids out to some parks this morning while Emily and I relaxed.  Then, as Liam napped, I disassembled my driver side door and tried to fix the sticking lock.  No luck.  Emily and Maddy went craft shopping with Emmy and Lainey and Liam helped me on my next car project: installing the spoiler.  I can't believe it was so easy; I had been so nervous for so long.  I also replaced the antenna and touched up the paint.  I feel like a car guy now.

The girls picked us up and took us to Mike's house.  They crafted while the boys watched football.  Then we headed over to the Kings' house for the premier of Dexter.  All in all, it was a great day!!!

Work was quiet today, and seemed to go by quickly.  I went and got lunch from Bruges and ate it while I watched Baylor @ West Virginia end 63-70 on my computer.  Then I realized that I didn't have my office key with me for some reason, so I had to wait for my mom to come in before I could leave.

We were supposed to go to the Hope Alliance's silent auction in Park City, but our babysitter had to cancel.  Emily still isn't feeling that well from the new sleeping medication, and I was exhausted too.  So we slept while Liam napped and Maddy was at a tea party at Anastasia's house.  When she came home, she played outside all evening until we all fell asleep in our bed.

I had breakfast at the Blue Plate Diner with Brooke and his sister Alison.  I tried unsuccessfully to convince him to move his family back to Utah.  It would be so amazing if they lived nearby.  Oh well.

I just barely had enough time at work to fix a pair of glasses before I had to leave again to pick up Maddy from school.  She played outside almost all afternoon, while I stayed inside and relaxed.  It was a pretty good day.

I dropped Maddy off at school, had a coffee at Starbucks, picked up donated glasses from Riverton Family Eye Care, and went grocery shopping.  Then I was unproductive for the rest of the day.

Well, not really.  I did get our shoe shelf done, and put up curtains in the music room.  But I took the curtains right back down again, since my idea didn't work so great.  I have a new idea though.

This evening, Liam and I rode all around on Maddy's electric scooter.  He stood in front of me and directed me where to go.  We went around the school, the pool, the garden (and stopped and ate a tomato), Nainey's house, and then back home.  He is seriously at the cutest age right now.  We are getting along so well!

I took two ritalins today, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.  I got lots of work done, like frame inventory and setting up the visual fields machine.  But it did kindof give me a headache.  I picked Maddy up from EDP and we got Wendy's on the way home.  Then I called about 30 people to follow up on their invitations to the Hope Alliance's silent auction on Saturday.  Not a lot of people sound like they're coming. :|

Back to work, but no more studies.  It was an uneventful day as far as work is concerned, but at least the weather was very fall-like.  Tonight Maddy and Liam played out front with the neighbor kids while Emily and I looked for dining room lights online.  Boring.

We woke up to find Mike making crepes from scratch for everyone.  We all sat around the table for breakfast, then packed up to go home.  We headed straight over to the Kings' house.  They weren't home yet, and had changed their garage opener code, so I slid open their garage window, and let Maddy in.  She opened the garage for us and we went inside.  Sarah came over soon after.  Liam went down for a nap, and we played Scrabble out on the back deck while waiting for Dennis and Cyndi to get home.

When they did, they gave the kids some Halloween presents and Sarah an iPhone 5.  Then we went to dinner at Spice Bistro and went back to watch the Emmys.  But it got too late to watch the whole thing, and we went home.  I was so tired and sore and stiff, I really wasn't much good to anyone.

Today was the Dirty Dash!  I was so nervous the whole week leading up to it, and even when we set out, I thought for sure I would run out of breath and my heart would explode.  But we made it up and around the first hill just fine, and leapt easily over the hay bales of the first obstacle.  From that early point, I was encouraged that my body was keeping up with my spirit.  My dad and sister stopped about a mile into it, but I was still feeling good, so I kept on.  I decided that I wanted to give it my all and not skip anything, if possible.  Mike and I continued and looped around to meet my dad and sister again, and I was honestly shocked that I still had plenty of energy.

It basically continued on like this the rest of the way.  I kept expecting my muscles to give out, or my sides to start aching, or my lungs to start burning.  They never did.  I made it all the way to the end, and still had energy to spare.  I have absolutely no idea what to make of this.  I was utterly convinced that I wasn't in the shape to handle it.  How did I do it?  I don't know.

The rest of the day was an exhausted haze.  I mostly laid on the couch and watched football.  We went down to the carousel at Zermatt resort, and Liam was ecstatic.  Literally shaking with joy.  Then we fed the goats, which Maddy loved.  She pet them all gently and named them "Sweetheart" and "Snowflake."  She was sad when we had to leave them.

We're not able to get the Utes game on TV here, but that's probably for the best.  Listening on the radio, it sounds like they're going to get blown out.  I'm not even staying up for the second half.

I'm so glad the study is over!  It was grueling.  But I got the last three patients to come in early, so I was able to leave early.  I picked up some food from Saffron Valley, and we relaxed while Liam napped.  Then we drove up to Midway and stayed at the same house we rented last time.  Mike made us all chicken tacos, and we played until we were all exhausted.  I thought I fell asleep peacefully with Maddy and Liam laying by my sides, but I found out the next day that the rest of my family had a hard time falling asleep.  Sorry.

Exhausting day.  9 studies.  The last three are tomorrow.

A couple days to catch up on here:

Monday was a normal day at work, nothing big, but when I got home, Sarah was over to hang out with us.  That was a nice surprise.  We had take-out from Greek Souvlaki and watched the Alfred Hitchcock movie "Rope."

Tuesday I got to start acting like the vision clinic mission leader as I made a flyer asking for glasses donations and sent it with my dad to the UOA meeting.  Emily was productive too, ordering all the clothes Liam needs for his Halloween costume: Marty McFly!

Today we went to Ikea and got a new shoe shelf and some other home decor.  Liam and I took a nap while Emily went to see Dr. Jennings.  Then Dennis and Cyndi came over after watching Maddy at dance class ad we had pizza and hung out.

It's been a great week so far!

Today was such a fun day with my kids!  We woke up and ate chocolate muffins in the loft while playing with toys.  Then we went to the park at the school across the street so Maddy could show me how she goes on the monkey bars backwards.  Or "monky PARS!" as Liam calls them.

We were only there for about an hour, then we came back to cool down before we went to Wheeler Farm.  Poor Emily was still feeling too sick to come.  She missed us, but she did enjoy a quiet house.  Madeleine sketched each animal we saw, and Liam told me what the animal says.  Cows, horses (they say "YEE-HAW!" according to Liam), rabbits, chickens, turkeys (they pecked at sticks the kids held out for them), goats, ducks, geese, swans, and sheep.  The pigs were hiding in their homes.  After walking around forever to find a restroom for Maddy, we ended up at the huge playground they have there.  The kids played on that for a while before we stopped at a little tent where we could pet a sheep, a goat, and a donkey.  They had just stopped giving pony rides, but Maddy was able to sit on one for a picture.  She also got to hold a bunny.  It was $1, and although I was out of cash, Maddy was prepared with her wallet in her purse.  That was pretty awesome.

After the farm, the three of us ate dinner at Hoppers.  They were very well behaved and ate well.  I was a proud dad.  We brought home some dinner for Emily, and then took a big bath to get all the farm dirt off of us.  It was a wonderful day!!!

Oh man, I had such a migraine this morning.  I ate too many of their cookies last night, and the sugar did it.  I just barely survived work, then I went up to the Westminster campus for the Hope Alliance's Global Health Seminar.  The campus is beautiful.  I wish I had gone there, or new more people who went there.  I wanted to just sit around.  But I also felt like I looked more like a professor than a student.  I was wearing my red vest (for Utah) and my glasses, and I had not trimmed my beard in a few days.  When I had picked up some breakfast at Rocky Mountain Grill, Lori and Margie both commented that I look older, more of a dad and less of a boy.  And Melissa and Cynthia at the Hope Alliance both commented on it as well.

I learned that maybe somebody involved with the Hope Alliance seems to think I'm not qualified for the job.  Since this is a public blog, I'll leave it at that.  But I was very hurt, and I chose to defend myself via email.  That seems to have only made them hate me more.  I shouldn't have said anything.  Darn it.

I couldn't stay at the conference though, because Emily was ill, so I hurried home to her.  I stopped at Bruges again to get her a Machine Gun and me a waffle.  Oh man it's good.  When I got home we just laid on the couch together.  I watched football and tickled her feet.  Maddy played outside almost the entire day.  We went out to get some sunshine later, and I (hopefully) fixed our sprinklers from soaking the dirt next to our house.  Time will tell on that one.

Then Maddy watched the Utah-BYU game with me until she fell asleep on my lap.  I put her in bed at halftime and stayed up to watch the Ute fans rush the field three times, once for each time the clock appeared to hit zero.  It was an awesome end to the game.

We began closing out our study at work today, so yay!  And Bruges opened across the street, so I finally got to try the Machine Gun sandwich.  I seem to have come down with this cold-like thing that Emily and Liam have had, and it makes me exhausted.

Tonight we went to pick vegetables from our garden, and while we were there we heard corn stalks rustling at a nearby plot.  We watched as a stock shook and sunk into the ground.  There was a mole or something underneath!  We spent a long time watching and waiting and trying to see whatever little creature was there, but nothing happened.  Nevertheless, it was fun!

Maddy and Emily made Nutella sugar cookies when we got back.  Then we turned out the couch-bed in the loft and stayed up watching Monster House all together.  It was a good night.

It was Grandparents' Day at school, and I played music for the All School Mass.  Madeleine was the lector for the opening of Mass, and she did such a great job!  We kept smiling and waving at each other throughout the service.  Then I went back to work while my parents and Cyndi stayed through lunch.  Maddy interviewed them about what it was like when they were kids.  They had a wonderful time.

I posted this on my facebook today: "So there is some sort of telemarketing company that is trying to get us to let them come in to the office for a consultation on our credit card machine (or something). Their strategy is INSANE though. They call us every couple of days and abuse the staff here, telling us we're stupid, we're useless, we're liars, and that we should be fired if we don't let them talk directly to 'William' immediat

ely.

"The one time I pretended to be 'William,' I told them I wasn't interested, and they began to scream at me, saying I wasn't legally allowed to refuse them and I would be stupid to do so anyways. I figured if they were going to stoop to false legal threats, I would make one of my own, and began asking for all their information, telling the caller they will be subpoena'd. It stopped them for a while, but now they're back again."

Liam had a little bit of a runny nose yesterday, but today it became a full cold.  Emily came down with it too.  I came home and played with the kids and watched the Bears lose miserably to Green Bay.  Liam is learning to use the potty, but still hasn't quite gotten the hang of it.  At least he was thoughtful enough to cover the mess he left with a tissue.  Still, he's showing rapid improvement each day.  And his vocabulary is stunning.  Every night he says goodnight to the paintings Emily made for his room: A giraffe, a monkey, and a zebra.  Then he says goodnight to the picture of him as an infant and the picture of the four of us on the day of his birth ~ "Dayee, Mommy, Shisha, and Baby Me" he calls us.  He also pointed out the banana in the monkey's picture, calling it a "ba-NAY-na."  He's just so incredible.

I heard Madeleine singing the Gospel Acclamation from church today as she dried her hair.  Then we read a chapter of Treasure Island and she went out like a light.  What a wonderful little girl she is.

After dropping Maddy off at school, I ran a few errands; getting paint colors from Home Depot, buying touchup paint for my car, getting my hair cut, and buying a few groceries.  Emily and I then painted our dining room the same color as our island.  It looks awesome.  Afterward, we had jambalaya Emily made in the crock pot and conversed with Cyndi after she brought Maddy home from dance.

While nothing was particularly eventful about the day, the evening was pretty cool.  We found out that Mo Willems was doing a reading and signing of his new book "Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs" at the King's English bookstore in Sugarhouse.  Madeleine adores Willems's books.  She probably has more than twenty of them.  At the end of the work day, Emily, Madeleine, and Liam met me at work, as well as Emily and Lainey.  The six of us and my parents went to dinner at Olive Garden and to the bookstore.

My parents and Emily and Lainey were too tired to stay after the reading, but we did, and Madeleine got to meet Mo.  He signed a copy of his book for her, and another for Liam, and that was it.  I know that book signings - especially for popular authors - can't logistically be much more than that, but it doesn't make for a very memorable or friendly encounter.  Maybe Mo's personality has something to do with it too, but I'll try not to judge him.

I saw Dr. Jennings this morning about my throat, but he can't really discern what it is.  I tried loratadine allergy medicine, to see if it responded to that, but it didn't.  Tomorrow, I'll try cetirizine.  I also tried hyoscyamine as a muscle relaxer, but that doesn't seem to handle it either.  It's getting harder for me deal with this.

In other non-news, I listened to Harvey Danger again for the first time this year.  Still love them as much as ever.

Uh, yeah... this blog is getting kinda depressing because it's showing me how boring I am.

I had a bad migraine this morning, and I'm not sure why.  I didn't drink or anything last night.  And my throat has been doing this strangling feeling today too.  It's really uncomfortable.  It makes my body feel  all panicky, like I'm choking or gagging or something.

Anyways, Maddy and I went over to Sloth's house to watch football with him and his cousin Mike.  We told Maddy that there really wouldn't be much for her to do there, but she said she just really wanted to see Sloth and Mayra.  It was really sweet.

On our way home, we saw Emily and Mike taking Lainey for a walk.  We pulled over and she really wanted to get in the car, so Emily let her.  As soon as she sat down she said "bye mom" and told me to drive.  Emily and Mike said it was ok, so we brought her home to play.  We set up the igloo, and the three kids had a blast playing together.

I worked this morning, and towards the end of the shift, I started getting a strange feeling like a lump in my throat.  Nothing seems to have brought it on, and nothing seems to make it feel better.  But it pretty much persisted all day long, off and on.

This afternoon, we went to Daybreak's "Fizz Fest."  But it wasn't really all that exciting for me or the kids.  My parents and Emily and Mike and Lainey came along too.  We had kindof an awful dinner at the place that used to be San Gelato, and then the girls all shopped while the boys sat on a bench.  We came home, and Maddy got to sleep in bed with Mommy, and I stayed up and watched football.

After work today, I went to feed Sarah's cats, and like last year, I went up on her roof afterwards.  That mysterious empty cage I found last year was still there, but this time it was no longer empty.  There were about five or six dead pigeons locked inside.  I don't know -and maybe don't want to know- what is going on there.

Then I came home and watched the Utes lose to Utah State.  I know you're not supposed to blame a loss on the officiating, but this one makes a stunning case for it.  John Hays threw two TD passes at the end of overtime.  One was called back for offensive passing interference, while the second one wasn't caught because of defensive passing interference which wasn't called.  Utah still may have gone on to lose the game in second OT, but it would be an honest loss.  Not one caused by poor refereeing.

And we watched the last episode of Downton.  Now what are we going to do?

Time flees and you have to try your best to catch it and hold on to it.  I hate how tired I get, and just watch an evening slip away.  Today was the busiest day of the study, and I had quite a migraine when I got home.  But now I'm so sad that I've seen so many of these days go by.  Writing this journal has shown me how often I let it go.  My kids are growing up right in front of me, and I can't even slow it down.  Wow, why am I so depressed?  Oh well.

Emily and I spent the day working on decorating ideas for the house.  It's a beautiful home, but everything is light brown or tan or somewhere between the two.  So we struggled back and forth on ideas until we arrived pretty much on a direction to take.  The name of the style is a little off-putting to us; "Hollywood Glam," but the look is nice.  Not at all trashy and overwrought as the name would suggest.  So we're going to decorate that way.

This took us all day to decide.

Meanwhile, Liam went to the park with "Umpa" Bogus and met "Dabby" and "Nainey" there.  Madeleine had her usual busy Wednesday, with Grammy's house and Dance after school.  And that was that.

The study visits this week are particularly complicated, and it drove me and my mom crazy.  But we survived it, and once we get past Thursday, it should be smooth sailing.

Maddy had her first homework assignment tonight, and had it completed by the time I got home.  She also had time to help Emily bake some sugar cookies from scratch.

I was too exhausted to be any fun tonight, so we laid around until it was time to sleep.

Today was Labor Day, but we didn't do anything special for it.  Liam and I woke up early, and Maddy wrote "Sleeping In. -_-" on her white board and set it outside her door.  When she did wake up and join us, she thoughtfully set the board in front of Mom's bedroom door.

We had the estimator from Lowe's come out to look at the cost of having our fence installed, and it came to about the same as Western Fence, $1700.  That's a hell of a lot of money for 20 feet of fence.  After that, I had just enough time to finish building my sound baffles for my music room before heading to work for some studies.

The rest of our evening was a laid back one.  Maddy, Liam, and I played some Mario Kart before bed, then I had my traditional two chapters of Treasure Island with Maddy and an episode of Downton Abbey with Emily before sleep.

This morning, Maddy was a wonderful little girl for Mom.  She made her a peanut butter and jelly waffle sandwich and iced coffee and brought it up to her in bed.  She also made a peanut butter "samich" for Liam when he asked for one.

Liam's vocabulary is growing larger daily.  It's getting easier and easier for him to communicate complex thoughts to us, and it's so fun to see how his little mind works.  He's also learning to use the toilet, and we are all very encouraging and proud.

The three of us went to Lowe's to pick up some lumber, then I built a shelf for Maddy's play kitchen using my Kreg Jig for the first time.  I love that tool.  It makes my work look like a real carpenter's.  The shelf I built is designed to hold all of the food for Maddy's kitchen.  I figured she deserved a reward for being such a wonderful girl.

That took up almost my whole day.  After I finished the shelf, I started making the sound baffles for my music room.  But I got way too tired to finish, so we put the kids to bed, read some more Treasure Island, and watched more Downton Abbey.

I woke up early to watch Notre Dame and Navy play in Dublin.  It kicked off at 7:00 am, and I had Irish oatmeal and coffee with (non-alcoholic) Irish cream.  Liam woke up a little later and joined me downstairs.  He spent almost the whole day with me today.

Sarah took Madeleine to see a movie at the Clark Planetarium before bringing her home.  They had so much fun.  I can't believe how much stuff she's done since I started this blog.

Speaking of fun stuff, after she came back, we went over to the school playground and played with Cressida and Jackson until they went home.  Then other neighbors, Tabby and Ike, came over and we played with them.  We came home, I took a bubble bath with the kids, and then we played "MONSTERS!" with Mom.  Maddy slept in bed with Mom, Liam went to bed like a champ, and I fell asleep on the couch watching Oklahoma at UTEP.

My kids are the awesomest.  Madeleine woke me up this morning, already all dressed and ready for school.  While I hurried to get ready for work, she made her bed!  As a reward, we stopped by McDonald's to get her breakfast.  She tried especially hard for that reward, and was very proud of herself.

Liam went his first soccer practice this morning, and loved it.  Every time he accomplished something, he screamed "Mommy!  I did it!"  Emily couldn't get him to wear his jersey though, and halfway through the practice he decided to take off his t-shirt.  Oh well, he'll come around.

He and Emily played at my parents' house until Maddy was out of school.  Then they took her to Ryan's house for a playdate.  They had just enough time to get a nap in at home before picking up Maddy so Sarah could take her to her condo.  Maddy is sleeping over there tonight!

I'm still getting my college football fix, watching Boise State at Michigan State and chatting online.  But after that, I chose to watch Downton Abbey with Emily instead of San Jose State at Stanford.  My cfb addiction is fading.

College Football day!  I could barely pay attention at work because I was so excited that college football was finally starting up again.  I can't even remember if anything interesting happened before I got home.  We had Sarah, Emily, Mike, and Lainey over and made a sort of impromptu tailgate dinner.  I picked up fried chicken and lil smokies and chips and dip, and we watched the Utes beat Northern Colorado 41-0.  Everyone went home afterward and the kids went to bed, but I stayed up to watch Washington State fail to beat byu, and fell asleep as Minnesota at UNLV went to overtime.  SO happy to have CFB on tv again!

Another migraine to start the day.  I think my tolerance for even small amounts of alcohol has finally hit zero.  Oh well.  I mean, I can't even remember the last time I got drunk, but I do enjoy one small drink a couple days of the week.  There's no harm in becoming a teetotaler, I suppose.

After it passed, we went to Lowe's and Home Depot to get some curtains for my music room and a chandelier for Madeleine's room.  Lowe's had their inflatable Halloween displays out for sale, and Liam was so excited by them.  "I scared!" he loves to yell.  And "Mossters!"  I think he's going to LOVE Salem.

There was a bit of drama in the afternoon regarding our tickets to the Bonnie Raitt concert at Red Butte.  Dennis and Cyndi were originally supposed to go with Emily and Sarah, but had to attend the funeral for Dennis's aunt Bonnie instead.  Emily and Sarah had a difficult time finding other people to take the tickets, and wanted me to come along.  But my parents were busy with the transition to digital at our office, and my poor sister was dealing with her daughter.  Lainey's teeth are deteriorating, and she will have to undergo oral surgery next week.  So in the end, we stayed home and played with Sarah.


In the evening, while Madeleine was at dance, Liam was my little helper with installing a speed control switch for our ceiling fan.  Then we played outside until Maddy got home.  Since Sarah was sleeping over, Maddy fell asleep with me in my bed as Emily and Sarah watched Resident Evil downstairs.


So, I finally got around to liking Oar by Skip Spence.  I downloaded it two years ago and put it on a CD with the Zombies' Odessey and Oracle.  It took me a little while to warm up to that album as it was, but Oar took longer.  Usually I feel upset with myself for not putting more effort in originally, but this time around I've come to accept the fact that this is just the way I do things.  I also think that my tastes are slanted towards music that takes a little getting used to.  Like most things that are an acquired taste, once you get used to it, you love it.


So, by virtue of the fact that it is on the same CD as Odessey and Oracle, Oar now joins the pantheon of sacred autumnal albums.  I only allow myself to listen to certain albums during the months of September and October (and late August).  The list consists of the aforementioned albums along with Gris-Gris by Dr. John, McLemore Ave. by Booker T. and the M.G.s, and McCartney by Paul McCartney.  A used CD of Billy Preston's greatest hits also makes the list, but it's not a canonical studio album, so my OCD won't allow me to list it with the rest.  Honorable mentions include works by The Make-Up, Harvey Danger, Ben Folds Five, and of course, Rufus Wainwright.  But I allow myself to listen to them outside of September and October.

Well, maybe not Harvey Danger.  The songs "Carlotta Valdez," "Jack the Lion," "Sad Sweetheart of the Rodeo," and especially "Woolly Muffler" are strictly for fall.  As a matter of fact, I need to get those onto my iPhone ASAP.

So a patient yelled at Heather today because she claims the contacts her daughter purchased were the wrong color.  But this was four months after they bought the contacts.  Apparently this was such a horrible offense on our part that the lady threatened to take her business elsewhere. Not knowing what to say, Heather just said she was sorry that she felt that way.  That only seemed to make her more angry, and she said she was upset that Heather wasn't fighting harder to try to keep her business.


No, lady.  The world doesn't work that way, ok?  When you blow things this out of proportion and act irrational and unpleasant, hearing that you won't be bothering us anymore is welcome news.


Anyways, I got to say goodbye to the Fiat today.  I took a picture, because, well, I don't know.  The whole point of me blogging again is because my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be, and I figured having pictures of things will help too.

It was cool and tiny and all, but boy was the engine lacking.  I'm so used to the Fit having so much "pep," as this awesome old English dude described it once.  I'd stomp on the gas in the Fiat and wait for something to happen.  To make matters a little less bearable, I forgot my car pool lane pass in the Fit, so I was left having to drive home in the main lanes... like some sort of commoner.


So Madeleine had to be punished by keeping her in her room all afternoon until dinner.  Emily had bought her fries and a frosty at Wendy's, but when they got home, Maddy was infuriated to learn that she didn't purchase any chicken nuggets, and screamed at Emily.  This is happening too much, unfortunately, and we need to find ways of punishing her to make her realize that it's wrong.  Yelling right back at her doesn't teach her to resolve her issues properly, so Emily kept her cool and told her that she just had to spend the afternoon alone in her room.


Maddy was still angry when I came home, and demanded to be let out.  But I had to calmly explain that since she felt that way, then she had not learned her lesson and deserved her punishment.  When dinner time came, her attitude had changed, and the rest of the evening is a pleasant one.  But seriously, the way she acts sometimes terrifies me.  Mostly because I worry about not being able to correct the bad behavior, and her distancing herself from me as an adult.  She could easily break my heart into a million pieces if she wanted to, because I love her so much.


On a happier note though, Liam was a fun little friend to me tonight.  He came with me to the garden to pick green beans, and when we left, turned and waved and said "bye, garden."  He has also been impersonating Sir Kay from The Sword and the Stone, saying in a hoarse voice "Quiet, Wart!"  And he surprised me later by singing his best rendition of the Caillou theme song, ending with a little, high-pitched "It's me!" at the end.  He is such a cutie!

Another busy day at work. I had a little bit of a headache still so I didn't take my ritalin. I'm not necessarily dependent on it, but I do notice a drop-off in productivity without it. I'll probably just keep it up on a daily basis. I forgot to bring Maddy's lunch to school so I had to go to the store and buy a few lunch items for her and drop it back off. Slow news day. We were all tired and grumpy tonight, but my sister called and invited us to the park with her and Mike and Lainey. We brought along a soccer ball, basketball, and baseball to play with, and Lainey and Liam loved playing with them even though they couldn't do much. It really lifted our spirits, I think.  When we left, Liam yelled out "Bye Nainey! Bye Emmy! My Bike!" Then two or three more chapters of Treasure Island and another episode of Downton Abbey.

I had a horrible headache this morning, most likely caused by having a couple beers at the Festival last night. I swear I can't drink beer anymore without getting a headache. So, I spent the first half of the day in bed. My dad was nice enough to come pick up Maddy and take her back to the Festival for another day of fun. When I did finally feel up to it, I straightened up the garage, then worked more on setting up the music room. I also purchased a used tom-tom on eBay, so I'll finally have one that is made of real wood and has heads on both ends. (What where they thinking when they made my set?) That's just about it. Liam told me "I love you" tonight, instead of his usual "I you." Just another little sign that he won't stop growing up.

Emily picked up Madeleine this morning while I was at work. When I came home, Emily and Liam were napping upstairs, and Madeleine was asleep on the floor in the living room. She heard me preparing lunch and woke up, but said she wasn't asleep, she was just resting her eyes.

This evening we went to the Fall Festival. Maddy spent almost the entire time off with her friends Olivia and Ella. It was nostalgic for me because that's how I remember spending time at the Festival when I was a kid. Just off with friends the entire time. Liam was too afraid to go on any rides, but he did like to look at them. Maddy got a little too scared on one of the bigger thrill rides I rode with her, but recovered quickly, and even got Liam to ride one other smaller ride before we left for the night. She also tried to get him to go in the bounce house, but he's just too chicken.

Today was not a very eventful one for me, but Liam played at his aunt Sarah's while Emily got a beautiful haircut. Madeleine went straight from school to Hayley's birthday party, and from there to Olivia's house for her first sleepover. I hope she doesn't get homesick!

Not too much happened today. It was busy at work and Liam drove Emily crazy at Hobby Lobby today (like he always does). Maddy had Cressida over when I got home and Emily baked us perfect lasagna. I read Maddy the next 2 chapters of Treasure Island and Emily and I watched another episode of our new favorite show, Downton Abbey. That's it.

Madeleine is so busy on Wednesdays now! She has school from 8:00 until 3:00, then my parents pick her up and take her to their house. Then Cyndi gets her from there and takes her to dance class from 4:30 until 7:00. Then finally she gets home for dinner and homework.

Today my parents were watching Lainey too when Maddy came over. Maddy did her usual school teaching - all about owls, according to my mom - and Lainey was an exemplary student and teacher's aide.

And Maddy's enrolled in ballet and competition, but the jazz class was full. Her teacher, Julie, was surprised that Maddy wasn't on the roll. But Maddy attended anyways, and will continue to do so, even if it's unofficial. They have her on a waiting list. She's the only one in the class who can do the splits, put her face on the floor, then move her legs behind her until she's prostrate!

As for me, I drove by the old abandoned high school out in Draper that I liked to explore last year. I don't know why, but I feared that it had been torn down. I went back just to make sure it was still there and still abandoned. Thankfully it's both. I was reminded of it by listening to the Zombies. I was really just getting in to their album last year when I explored the high school. I'm definitely going to have to go back in there. But I had things to do this morning.

As I drove away, I wondered how I discovered that school in the first place. I think I glimpsed it once from the nearby busier road, but whatever made me go investigate, I have no idea. Creepy.

Anyways, I had to go drop my car off to get repaired. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Back on August 4th, I was driving home on Bangerter Highway when I saw a guy pushing his car going the opposite way. I decided to help, so I U-turned and got up behind him. He told me that he had already called someone to bring him gas, but as the road had no shoulder and his kids were in the backseat, he just didn't feel safe being parked in the right lane. I told him I'd follow behind him to protect him. It only took a few minutes before I was rear-ended. The driver who hit me had slowed down considerably (it's a 60 mph road), and her car seemed entirely unharmed. My rear bumper just got a little bent out of shape, but was still drivable. She was insured, and no one was hurt, and things really turned out ok. Thank God for that, because if I hadn't been there, who knows what would have happened to the guy pushing his car?

So, I dropped my car off at ABRA and got a rental. A tan Fiat 500. I was so excited because I think they're pretty badass looking cars. I found out quickly though that they have NO guts whatsoever. I can't wait to get my little Fit back so I can drive fast again.

I finally got around to writing my reports on my trip to Peru. I wrote three of them. One is just a chronology, one is my "warm fuzzy" tale, and the last is my ideas of what we need to change. I'll include them all at the end of this blog.

After my reports were finished and Liam woke up from his nap, we went to Kohl's to look for some sort of storage solution for all our shoes by the front door. We found the perfect thing almost immediately.

The only problem is that that 80% sign isn't referring to the box, but to those rugs below. Isn't it obvious? We fought with the manager a little bit, but she wouldn't budge. We didn't buy it, out of principle. Thanks a lot, Kohl's.

Also, we tried to shop for my NEW FALL WARDROBE! but apparently we're still in summertime. Compounding the matter is the discovery that the clothes I really like are old man clothes. I didn't realize it until Emily pointed out, but I really want to dress like an old dude. I have to get over this desire, I suppose.

Here's the chronological report of Peru:

I arrived in Lima near midnight on the night of June 15th, along with fellow volunteer Jacob Hogan. We retrieved our suitcases and proceeded through customs. I passed without incident, but Jacob was selected for a random screening. After a quick inspection of his glasses-filled suitcase and a perusal of the letter from the Peruvian consulate, they allowed him to pass without any further questioning. Rosario and her driver met us outside - recognizing me from The Hope Alliance t-shirt I was wearing - and took us to the Hotel Del Sol. We were able to get a few hours of sleep before the driver returned at 4:00 am to take us back to the airport.

We then flew to Piura, and Cesar from the Lion's Club met us at the airport. He had chartered a bus for a group of volunteers from Loyola Marymount University who were also helping him in Chulucanas, and Jacob and I were along for the ride. We met up with the rest of our group at the Hotel Rio Grande and promptly went to breakfast, thn the basketball stadium to inspect it before the carnosidad awareness festival. After that, we had the rest of the day off.

The carnosidad festival was held the next morning, and extended until noon. The Lion's Club had arranged for the entertainment, and we provided free sunglasses to the crowd assembled there. When it was over, we set up for the next day's clinic. We were treated to a lunch afterward, then again rested the remainder of that day.

Monday, June 18th, I worked at my first clinic. As I was still very new to the process, I was not aware of the number of patients we saw. I was more concerned with learning how to work each station. I do recall hearing that we had been able to see all 300 ticketed patients. That night we checked out of our hotel and took a bus to the Hotel Bayovar in Piura.

Our next clinic was at a resort or health club in La Union. With the bus ride and some confusion as to where we should set up, our clinic started a little late. But we were still able to see many people. Again, I am not aware of the numbers, but there appeared to be more people asking to be seen at the end of this clinic that we were not able to help.

The third clinic was at a basketball stadium in Paita, and this time I was becoming more aware of our issues with being able to see everyone who had been given a ticket. Again, there was a crowd assembled outside when we finished. We remained inside, however, to be honored with plaques from the Mayor. We were then treated to a very fine dinner with the President of the National University in Piura.

The fourth clinic was held over two days at a medical facility in Piura. A banner outside declared that we would see more than 350 people per day, but at the end of the first, we had only seen 200. I was approached by a number of the volunteers with the request of allowing more to be seen. I estimated that given the speed with which we were moving, we could add 50. Unfortunately, that was not my decision to make. We did see the additional patients, and left for the day. The crowd outside was understandably upset, but we asked them to return the next day.

The next day, we could only see about 100 people before we needed to leave for Trujillo. To try to ameliorate the situation for those who had been waiting outside (some said they had been there since 4:00 am), I decided to tell them that we had reached capacity and that we were very sorry. I was not asked to do this by anyone, and instead chose to of my own accord. It was not received well by the crowd outside. We heard later than some of them had later pushed through the gates and began rushing into the main building of the facility. The police were called and the situation halted before they reached the area where our clinic was being held. The police were also on hand to help us as we made out exit.

Thanks to the National University of Piura, we were provided with a very nice bus for the ride to Trujillo. We stayed at the Hotel Pullman, right in the heart of the old city.

Our first clinic in Trujillo was at the DanPer agricultural factory. Our clinic was split between two levels, with stations 4 through 10 in an upper office space, accessible only by staircase from stations 1 through 3 in the cafeteria. Fortunately, we had no difficulty as I recall with anyone being unable to climb the stairs. This is due to the fact that we saw exclusively DanPer employees, and all were in good enough health. Unfortunately, this clinic also ran over our budgeted time, and we were unable to see everyone who had been given a ticket. As the only non-local volunteer on the cafeteria floor (where the extra patients were assembled), the job of telling them "no" fell to me. It was a difficult experience.

Sunday, June 24, was another day off. We toured the Huaca de la Luna and the Chan Chan archaeological sites, and then Richard, JoAn, Rosario, and myself were treated to a dinner with the Mayor of Casa Grande and his wife.

Monday we were back to work, this time in Casa Grande. As in La Union, the drive time and set up confusion again led to a late start. Also, this was the first of our clinics in a city municipal building, and for the first time we had to be conscious of the everyday business also being conducted there. Rosario, the Mayor, his wife, and I appeared on the local television station to raise awareness of what we were doing for the city. Later in the afternoon it was once again apparent that we were not going to be able to see the full amount of pre-ticketed patients, nor the volunteer staff. I have to admit, I was overwhelmed with sympathy for those who could not be seen, and could not help myself from crying for quite a while.

Our next clinic was to be held at some sort of building in El Milagro, but the facility was far below our standards and we were forced to seek another place. The LDS missionaries who had accompanied us as translators were able to secure us the use of the local LDS church. Near the middle of the day, Rosario and I were driven to the locations of our future clinics at the municipal buildings of Miramar, Alto Trujillo, and El Tropico. Here I was able to sketch out the grounds and plan our set up accordingly, as well as make the staff aware of our needs. Our clinic in El Milagro closed without incident, and all ticketed patients who had been waiting outside were able to be seen. I do not believe all 300 arrived, but I could be mistaken.

The clinic at Miramar was without incident except for the fact that again we closed at 250 patients, and the police were necessary to disperse the remaining 50 ticketed and countless non-ticketed patients waiting outside.

The facilities at Alto Trujillo were impeccable and the staff did a marvelous job of providing and arranging everything I had requested two days prior. They also set up a stage and PA, and the Mayor addressed the ticketed patients, and Richard and I gave speeches, thanking them for coming, and thanking the city for having us. This may have set us back too far in our schedule though, as again we were unable to see all 300 patients that day.

Our final clinic in El Tropico was a success. We only had a half day, and had arranged for only 150 ticketed patients. We were able to see them all, as well as our volunteer staff, and even the mayor herself. It was a wonderful note on which to end my experience in Peru.

Here's the warm fuzzy report:

In many ways, my experience in Peru exceeded my expectations. I was already quite excited to be working with the people and helping to solve vision problems, but I never could have been properly prepared for the overwhelming emotions that a journey of this type can stir. The adventure of visiting a foreign land, the challenge of the language barrier, and the reward of overcoming that barrier, as well as the unmistakable sense of genuine welcoming you get from the people are enough to make the trip worth it. And the exhausting work and long hours are made enjoyable by the loving gratitude you receive from the patients, as well as the sense of pride from a job well done. But these are the things you expect to feel.

More surprising are the times you find a much stronger emotional connection with someone. You could get five or ten patients in a row that were each genial and thankful, but then suddenly someone stands out from the rest. Quite often it was an elderly person, with cataracts and pterygium so advanced that you knew that the glasses you gave them would barely make a difference. But that difference was noticeable enough to them, and a wide smile would spread across their weathered face. And they look at you, maybe gently put their hand on yours, and without words you are able to know the joy they feel inside.

As you could imagine, the young children were great fun as well. They had been waiting for a very long time for their chance, and are quite nervous to be working with a stranger who speaks only a little Spanish, and even then with an accent. They don't quite understand why they're being asked to perform all these silly little tests, and look suspiciously at the glasses when you first present them. The breakthrough isn't until you ask them to look again at that chart across the room, now wearing the glasses, and you witness the shock as they realize that it's clearer! Many Peruvian children seem to desire to appear stoic though, and quickly regain their composure. This is fun to watch as well, since it is often hard for them to contain their wonder and excitement. Anything you try to say to them afterwards is ignored, as they are looking around at everything.

Sometimes, just finding *anything* that helps a patient can feel like a great victory - or a great relief. Especially towards the end of our mission, as our selection began to dwindle, the right prescription in the right frame became harder and harder to find. And although nearly all our patients were quite gracious, their occasional frustration was understandable. Sometimes the wait time could be quite long, and to have a volunteer return with glasses that didn't help or didn't fit could be upsetting. On only a few occasions did someone get impatient and leave, either with glasses they didn't like or without any at all. Every other time though, through trial and error, we came up with solutions to each problem. And you have only a moment to relish the achievement before the next patient is before you, ready to start the process again.

All our volunteers each had a favorite moment, a specific patient they were able to help and whose gratitude was overwhelming. Mine was a young woman with a very difficult prescription for our Retinomax machine to pin down. She was one of those I just described, where I would have her try on a pair of glasses, find out what worked or didn't, then go back to the computers to track down more prescriptions to try. We could only barely speak to each other, but we managed well enough. I did get the sense that all of my scurrying back and forth, and all of her times having to tell me that the glasses weren't working was making her feel as though she was a bother to me. I tried to reassure her that she presented a fun and interesting challenge, and that I didn't want to give up. She was starting to try to make me feel better by saying that the glasses I would bring her were working, when I could tell they still weren't quite right. When I finally did present her with a pair, and watched her eyes light up as she tried them on and read the chart, I knew for sure that we had done it. Although I was my typical boisterous American self, and cheered at our success, she was far more demure and thanked me sweetly before continuing on to the final station of the clinic.

I went about my business as usual, helping more patients and running from place to place, when about an hour later, she grabbed gently at my elbow, and handed me a note. She said "gracias" once more, hugged me, then left. The note read (in Spanish): "Thank you for bringing the Light of God to my life."

My time in Peru will always be fondly remembered. For all of the thousands of thanks I received over the course of two weeks, I would instead thank each patient tenfold in return for allowing me the opportunity to work amongst them and to bring light to their lives.

Here's the stuff I want to change:

t was the best of times, it was the worst of times. My hour long crying scene at Casa Grande is my strongest memory of the entire trip. It felt so good to help people and to solve problems that you almost get euphoric from it. But you get brought down pretty harshly when you have to turn people away. Especially people who have been waiting for hours with a ticket that was supposed to guarantee them eyecare. It's not just that I don't like having people angry with me, it's that I know that I'm in the wrong, and they have every right to be upset. I was upset, in fact, and had fought for them each time before I had to go tell them to leave. I felt as though we should have honored our promise to see them all, and if it meant we stayed late, we should stay late. Or, we should have worked harder and smarter to get it all done on time. I won't let this happen on my watch.

So, what do we do differently? Starting from the very beginning, we should try our best to all fly down and back together. Or at least as together as we can be. We should also be issued matching THA t-shirts, probably a couple each, to wear on the journey and at the clinics (instead of scrubs). Many other missions also in Peru had done this; you could see them together all over the Lima airport. From the outside looking in, it presented them as a cohesive team and provided a little PR for the group they were there with. I would like to see that for us.

Also, no sleeping in airports. It was a complaint from a couple anonymous volunteers.

Logistically, it would make much more sense for us to focus on one city of municipality and not have to move between hotels very much. Even better, if we could get more than one day at each of our locations, we could save literally hours of work by not having to set up, break down, and transport everything every day.

One small change I already implemented down there was to give everyone a quick rundown of where every station would be, who would be working there, and what they would be doing (especially the new volunteers for the day, such as LDS missionaries or USU students).

Another change I was able to introduce for the last three clinics was pre-planning the arrangement of the stations. We might not always get the chance to see each site ahead of time, but if we can, it would benefit us with the chance to think ahead what would be the best locations.

Also, the arrangement doesn't work well when it's thrown together by different people with no consideration for each other or for patient flow. Some days were purely chaotic, which again leads to a loss of time.

Probably the biggest and most important and most difficult thing I can recommend is purchasing more autorefractors. In truth, it simply won't make any difference how much we streamline the process, or how many volunteers we have, or anything else, if everyone still has to filter through only three retinomax machines. The handheld units are obviously preferable for many reasons, but they are also prohibitively expensive. Larger tabletop autorefractors are more affordable, but far less portable. Not impossibly so, but transportation and set up will be a new challenge. And hand helds will still be necessary for disabled patients who will find it difficult to rest their chins and foreheads comfortably at the tabletop. And if it's entirely impossible to get our hands on any more autorefractors, I may have more ideas to get around this.

If we had people doing the refractions as quickly as possible, and not trying to analyze the results on a case-by-case basis, we could get the patients through that station quicker. There was a lot of redundancy built in to the process that I insist upon removing. I understand fully why Richard saw the need for it, but I suspect it's slowing down our clinic. Even with the redundancy supposed to catch problems before they reach the fitting table, many problems were still showing up there. We don't need a needle & thread station, nor a 20 foot Snellen chart, if we are filtering everyone through the retinomax station. The retinomax can tell us what we need to know without those. More reliably so, even. So I would do away with stations 2 & 3, and take the analysis process out of station 4.

The volunteers at station 5 will then be able to quickly assess if the refraction results are compliant with the patient-reported needs. They can then assign the patient to stations 7, 8, or 9.

Station 10 should de-emphasize pterygium cataloging, and focus instead on pterygium, cataract, and dry eye prevention, rudimentary cataract consultation when needed, and eye drop dispensation. Other than pterygia, these medically important eye health needs have been ignored.

We need to have a doctor on hand at this station, and as a strategy to attract doctors to volunteer their time, I recommend we offer to print 400 business cards with their name, address, and phone number on them. On the day they are at our clinic, not a single patient will exit without receiving a card. Not only is this beneficial to the doctor for advertising purposes, and to our clinic for having a local professional on hand, it's beneficial to our patients. Now they know who their local eyecare professional is, what he or she is like, and not to hesitate to call. Dispensation of eyeglasses alone does not have a lasting, sustainable effect, but perhaps this will.

Today was such a busy day at work. We are performing another contact lens study, and it requires a lot of work. Inbetween patients, though, I was able to update my fantasy football team to reflect the Star Wars theme we're all doing. Now I'm the Anchorhead Womp Rats. I even drew a new logo:

Tonight, Emily made more of her zucchini bread with another zuke from our garden. Maddy and I went over to Mike to borrow a cup of sugar, I rode my bike and Maddy rode her motorscooter. We then invited Emily and Lainey over to play (Mike had training). Although Liam shoved Lainey around a little bit at first, soon he was able to just coexist with her, and by the end of the night, they were running around the house, hand in hand. It was so exciting to see him be so friendly to his little cousin. They also played a game where they lined up the couch pillows along the floor and walked across them. They were just in their own little world together.

Maddy told me that she asked Madison to play with her today, and they are becoming friends. I'm proud of how sweet and friendly she is and how much she's loving school.

Today was Madeleine's first day of Third Grade! It feels so great to have her back in school again. She's excited about it too. We got there early and I walked in with her (as did all the other parents). Before the doors opened, the kids had all grouped together near their classmates, and Maddy saw Nicole, Mwende, Ella, and McKenna outside. In her class, she sits next to Ryan and across from Brandon at a table that also includes Averi and a new girl, Madison. I told her to be sure to make friends with Madison. I was able to take a few pictures of her with her friends and teacher, Mrs. Gallagher.

And I went to work, listening to The Zombies' "Odessey and Oracle" album. (By the way, Odessey is misspelled in the album title.) It's one of my albums that I only allow myself to listen to in the Fall. Even though it's technically, astronomically not Autumn yet, I figure with Maddy in school, it's Fall enough for me. I just discovered it last year, but it is already one of my favorites of all time.

My cousin Liz Bogus came in for an eye exam today, and brought her partner Amy LePeilbet with her. Although this was only my second time meeting Amy, I'm a big fan of hers and watched every minute of her playing in the Olympic soccer matches. She was so gracious as we fawned over her and her gold medal. She even put it around my neck. I hope that's not sacrilegious.

That afternoon we had a new employee join our staff. Laurel has been a patient of ours for years, and I call her to help with every study. Since both Heather and Alessa have school on Monday afternoons, we asked Laurel to help us out as she looks for a new job.

Madeleine was so excited about her first day at school. When I came home, she was clipping coupons from the newspaper, so she could buy food for the homeless. Then she asked me to do her addition flashcards with her. And finally, we read the first chapter of "Treasure Island" before she went to bed.

Emily and I watched the first two episodes of "Downton Abbey" before going to bed, and both really enjoyed it. It was a great day.