Ok, so this is my first post since learning I have readers. Awkward. I'm going to just pretend you're not there.
So, you know when you're driving really fast and then slam on the brakes, you feel as though you're being pulled backward? That's how Emily and Maddy and I feel today. We have been doing so much stuff in so little time - we've been to Disneyland and Seattle in three weeks, as well as the Hogle Zoo and the new Waterpark and the 4th of July Parade a host of other things, all while excitedly anticipating our pregnancy, and I've been building the deck and recording my album, all in just over a month total. Today we're all sitting in different rooms, laying down, watching different tvs. We're forcing ourselves to slow down. And it's making us all feel weird.
2009 will be a memorable year, I hope. I can't really discern the differences between 2006, 2007, 0r 2008 in my memory. I really think that not moving locations has made it difficult for my mind to attach dates to memories. I think that remembering that Italy, the conception of our next child, the deck, kindergarten, and the album all came in 2009 will help to make this a standout year. I've even made a real effort to only listen to albums that have been released this year, in hopes that I can find something that can act as a mile-post in my memory. I hope so. If not, then what? We'll have to move, I guess.
Its weird, but I think I'm beginning to feel the undertow of self-effacing parenthood. That my life is no longer about me, it's only about my child. It actually comes as a great relief to learn that acquaintances think of me as a nerd. Because that means that there is still enough quirky personality left in me to shine through. I was starting to worry I was becoming bland.
This seems like it's all I think about lately. How odd.
P.S. I don't think I stressed over a single thing while in Seattle. The flight, the car rental, driving around town (even getting lost), making plans, changing plans, packing the most amount of activity into every day... I should have been a wreck. But I wasn't. I don't know what that's all about.
P.P.S. I'm kinda jealous of singers who go crazy with their vocals. Any time I try to sing cool or breathy or hoarse, it seems to me like I'm just faking it and I'm too honest to actually sing like anything other than little old me.
