Middle East Emo Racy, Shaky

Reed, Felix, Alysa, and I broke open their vending machine. Stealing all of 50 cents and about four pounds of stale candy from the Federation of the Blind. Sorry old chaps. But few things rank as high in overall fun as breaking stuff. If you have the means, I would highly recommend it. It's so choice. As a matter of fact, I would just like something else to break right now. I would like tons of stuff to chisel, file, hit with a hammer, unscrew every screw, pry open, and squish in a vice clamp. That's just pure fun, man. I think I may have forgotten how fun it is to break stuff, especially when you are trying to do it in a way so that it can be (somewhat) put back together. I used to do that so much when I was a kid. Braxton and I used to put everything we could find into his dad's vice clamp. One time we squished a battery in there, and all the acid came out. Another time we squished a golf ball, and sawed it open with a hacksaw as we went. When we finally penetrated the outer shell, the rubber core came flying out with a fucking VENGEANCE, man. It must have bounced around a good thirty times before dissipating into nothing more than small strings of rubber strewn about the entire garage. And after he slammed R2-D2 (yes, the one he was supposed to sell me) with a hammer, we threw that in the vice clamp too. Everything, man. Food, plants, bugs (oh yeah!), whatever we could get our hands on, really. Once we took apart an old tv, and after having thorough fun with all the circuit boards, we squished those too. Fuck, we should have been wearing goggles.