It's like happiness, only it's sad.

Do you guys want to know something really sad? On Pirates! Gold, if you marry the hottest girl in the Caribbean, you still get the same cutscene when you visit her as you do when you marry the ugliest girl. I was like, hey, I didn't pillage twelve cities along the Spanish Main just to impress a girl who ends up looking the same as that monkey-face in Barbados! Goddammit! I stopped playing after that. My life's mission in that game was to marry the brunette at Nevis. Now I can check off another Thing I Must Do Before I Die. Ooh, that means I'm one step closer to death. Maybe I should add "Turn 103 Years Old" to the list, just to assure myself some more time.